bane ba..."

Cike da rashin fahimtar in da zancen su ya dosa Ayya take binsu da kallo, saboda maganar ce ta daketa a haggunce.

"Ciki? Laylar ce da ciki? Ciki naji kince Maryama. Kin san me kike fada kuwa?"

Saboda duk yanda ta tsane su, duk yanda bata son ganin su, ciki na daya daga cikin abu na karshe da zata so kowacce yarinyar da bata kasance karkashin inuwar aure ba da shi, ko da bata santa ba, balle Layla da suke cikin gida daya. Yarinyar da ta girma a gaban idanuwanta, bugun zuciyarta da yake kara hauhawa na tabbatar mata da tashin hankalin nan bana Mami bane ita kadai, kafin wani bangare na kwakwalwar ta ya juya kalaman Mami din

"Mami..."

Wannan karin Layla ce ta kirata, wani irin kuka na kwace mata, kukan da take ta nema tun shigowar su gidan

"Uban waye? Ki fadamun cikin waye a jikin ki idan bana Rayyan ba Layla? Ki fad..."

Bata karasa zancen ba Ayya ta katse ta

"Rayyan ya fita daga bakin ki Maryama, nasan kina cikin tashin hankali, wannan karin zan miki uzuri. Amman karki sake alakanta cikin jikin ta da yarona. Wallahi zamuyi tashin hankalin da bamu taba yin irin shi ba"

Wata dariya Mami tayi duk kuwa da sabon kukan da yake gab da kwace mata

"Akwai wani tashin hankali da kike tunanin zai girgiza ni bayan wannan da nake ciki? Babu, yau dai kece zaki girgiza saboda ina dai-dai dake"

Kallon su Abbu yakeyi, tun kafin Mami ta shigo gidan yake fuskantar tashin hankali kan zuwanta a wajen Maryama, tun da tazo duk tsayin shekarun nan da addu'a yake shigowa cikin gidan shi kar yaji wani tashin hankalin.

"Idan har ba zaku iya ajiye haukan nan ku san muna cikin matsalar da ta fishi girma ba ku fitar mun daga gida, dan Allah ku duka ku fitar mun daga gida inji da abu daya"

Daga zuciyar shi yayi maganar, ba zasu kara daga mishi hankali fiye da wanda yake ciki ba, saboda a duniya baisan akwai irin wannan tashin hankalin ba, duk yanda yake dauka labaran kalar shi na taba shi, bai kai yanzun ba sam, ta ina zai fara? Yar shi da rayuwarta gabaki daya ta sauya? Amanar daya kasa rikewa? Ko kuma Rayyan da Mami take alakantawa da wannan barnar? Dan mutane basu dame shi ba, abinda zasuce bashi bane a gaban shi a yanzun. Yanda zai fara daukar wannan matsalar balle ya nemi mafitarta.

Wasu hawaye masu zafi Mami taji sun zubo mata. Ayya ma ji tayi kafafuwanta sun kasa daukarta, har ranta taji zafin abinda Mami ta fadi akan Rayyan, badan tasan halayen shi ba, amman zuciyarta ba zata taba yarda shi yayi wannan barnar ba. Kallon Layla tayi da ta saka fuskarta cikin hannuwanta tana wani irin kuka. Abinda duka yara suka kasa ganewa kenan, abinda in da yanda zatayi zata bi yara wanda suka kai Layla, wanda basu kaita ba, wanda suka girmeta daya bayan daya ta hasko musu wannan ranar, ta nuna musu tashin hankalin da zai biyo bayan kuskure kwara daya.

Abinda duk suke dauka wayewa aikin banza ce in har ta kasance ba'a karkashin inuwar aure ba. Jin dadin wani lokaci zai iya zama barazana da sauran zaman lafiyar da ya rage musu a duniya. Kuskure daya zai jefa wasu wasi a zukatan mutane kan Martabar su, da ta duk wani ahali nasu, kuskuren su zasu aikata, amman zunuban zasu raba da duk wani daya damu dasu ne. Sai da tsikar jikin Ayya ta mike gabaki daya da ta hasaso faruwar abin nan akan Rukayya, wani irin tsoro marar misaltuwa na dirar mata. Kafin ta tuna ta kula da Layla, sai taji kamar ba huruminta bane bincike saboda Layla ce, saboda ta tsane ta, ta kuma tsani Mami, ga shi yanzun abin ya samu wajen zama a kirjinta yana sakata jin daukar wani bangare a kason tashin hankalin da suke ciki.

"Ta fadi komai Ahmadi, komai banda dorawa Rayyan laifin nan"

Ayya tayi maganar cike da roko, kirjinta kamar ana hura wuta. Saboda batasan ya zatayi ba idan akace dan daya fito daga cikinta ne yayi wannan aikin

"Baki san na gansu rungume da juna ba? Ya zaki ce mun bashi bane ba?"

Mami ta tambaya tana kallon Ayya da take mata wani irin kallo itama

"Rayyan da Layla kika gani rungume da juna?"

Cewar Ayya, Mami na jinjina mata kai

"Saboda baki da mafadi ko rashin hankali shine kika sake barin ta kusa da shi? Maryama sai kika barta a kusa dashi in har kin gansu da idanuwan ki kamar yanda kika fada... Baki da hankali ashe? Auren mijin mutane ne kawai abinda kika iya, baki iya kula da tilon yarinyar da kike da ita ba?"

Ayya take maganar yau tana jin da tana kusa da Mami din sai ta dauketa da mari, tana jin yanda komai ya koma gefe sai kalaman Mami din, tana jin yanda har zuciyarta ta shafe mata matsayin Rayyan, so take taji me abinda ya kwance akan Mami tabar Layla ta sake komawa Zaria in har da gaske ta ga Rayyan rungume da ita. Saboda daga ranar da ta ga maganar banza a wayar Rukayya tsakaninta da wani a makaranta, ko duniyar zata hade waje daya tabar makarantar kenan, saboda bata da iko da yaron balle ta hana mishi bibiyar mata yarinya, amman zatayi ikon da Allah ya saka a karkashinta ta nisanta yarinyarta da shi.

"Ya ma za ayi ace tana da ciki baki kula ba? Ki kwana daki daya da ita ki tashi daki daya da ita kice mun baki kula wani abu ya canza a tare da ita ba? Sakarar ina ce ke?"

Daga Mami har Abbu sun kasa cewa komai, maganganunta ne suke shigar su, musamman Mami da take jin Ayya na zakulo kasawarta a matsayinta na uwa, yau matar da take dauka ta tsaneta, bata kaunar ta ganta ce take fada mata gaskiyar da bata da mai gaya mata ita, duk da gaskiyar tazo a kurarren lokaci.

"Kasan ta gansu rungume da juna? Ahmadi ka sani?"

Ayya ta tambaya tana kallon Abbu daya kara sadda kan shi kasa, bayason hada ido da ita, so yake dai labban shi su motsa ya roketa da tayi shiru, karta saka zakulo mishi nashi laifin, amman lokaci ya kure musu gabaki daya

"Ka sani kenan..."

Ayya ta fadi, shirun shi na tabbatar mata da ya sani, mikewa tayi tana wani irin maida numfashi, yau da yaranta ne sai ta hadasu ta zane su gabaki daya.

"Sai kaima kabarta ta koma ko? Saboda ba yarku bace ba"

Su duka suka kalleta lokaci daya

"Maimuna..."

Cewar Abbu, kai ta girgiza mishi

"Baka son ji nasani, amman ka duba zuciyarka Ahmadi, idan Rukayya ce zaka bari ta koma? Me yasa kabar Layla? Ni me yasa baku fadamun kun gan su tare da juna ba?"

Saboda tana da tabbacin zatayi tashin hankalin da ba zasu bar Layla ta koma ba, ko dan ta nisanta yarinyar da Rayyan. Amman sai suka barta, saboda suna ganin ita din marainiya ce, kamar komawar ne gatan da zasuyi mata, barinta da zabinta shine cikar soyayyar su. Juyawa Ayya tayi da nufin barin wajen ta hango Rayyan da jaka a kafadar shi, har ya kama hannun kofar dakin su, hayaniyar da yake ji ta rinjaye shi zuwa cikin gidan saboda muryar Ayya yake jiyowa. Tana ganin shi kuwa ta karasa ta kamo hannun shi

"Zo ka fada musu Rayyan, suji da kunnuwan su"

Binta yakeyi, amman idanuwan shi na kafe kan hannunta da yake rike da nashi, so yake yaji yanayin nan da yake ji duk idan tayi kusa da shi haka, amman babu, bayajin komai sai Ayya, sai yanda kusanci da ita bai saka zuciyar shi ciwo ba. Kamar mai yawo a duniyar mafarki haka yake jin shi, lokacin daya dauke idanuwan shi daga nata yana mayarwa kan Abbu da yake zaune

"Abbu..."

Rayyan ya kira a cikin sauki, a karo na farko a tsayin rayuwar shi. Wani murmushi mai sauti ya kwace mishi, ya sake kallon Abbu yana jiran sanannen yanayin nan ya taso mishi, yaji iskar wajen gabaki daya tayi mishi kadan, amman babu, sam bayajin kamar zai mutu idan ya kalli Abbu, ko sun kasance a waje daya kamar haka, shisa bai ga tashin hankalin da suke ba, yau baya ma ganin komai banda iyayen shi.

Waje daya Bappa ya samar musu inda suke bautar kasar

"Akwai gidan Uncle dina, Autan su da yake karatune a ciki da abokin shi, daki ukune amman, akwai extra daki da zamu iya rabawa da kai..."

Cikin ido ya kalli Bappa ba zai manta ba

"Ban tuna na fada maka ina son zama waje daya da kai ba"

Ya amsa yana saka dariya kwacewa Bappa

"Allah ya bada sa'ar neman gidan haya a garin Kaduna, zama dani ne saukin ka, kuma ina da mota"

Wani irin kallo Rayyan yake mishi, banda Bilal bai taba kwana daki daya da wani ba, sai dai Ayya lokacin da yana yaro. Amman da hankalin shi ko na rana daya, sai ranar daya kwana a Bauchi da Bappa din, yanzun kuma ba zai zamana kwana daya ba.

"Nawa ne zamu dinga biya?"

Yayi tambayar saboda har ran shi bayason takurawa Bappa din, bashi kadai ba har sauran mutane.

"Zan iya kiran Uncle dina in tambaye shi, amman ba ma shiri"

Numfashi Rayyan ya sauke, ya kula Bappa na da son maida magana da yawa wasa, kamar Bilal haka yake wani lokacin

"Da gaske bana son imposing..."

Kai Bappa ya girgiza mishi

"Karka damu, babu wata matsala, ka yarda dani shine saukin mu, idan ina da wani wajen ba zan zauna a gidan mutimin nan ba"

Cewar Bappa, kallon da Rayyan yake mishi yana saka shi karawa da

"Karka ce mun a cikin Uncles dinka babu wanda baka so"

Kai Rayyan ya girgiza mishi, bawai yasan sauran bane ba, zai iya kirga lokuttan da ya taba ganin su har suka gaisa. Cikin su Yaya Ayuba ne kawai ya sani sosai sosai. Kuma karyane kace akwai wani abu da zaka ki so a halayen shi. Mutum ne mai saukin kai, kusan zai iya cewa duka yan gidan su Abbu ne da sanyin hali, har matan daya gani kuwa.

"No way"

Bappa yai maganar cikin rashin yarda yana saka murmushi kusan kwacewa Rayyan din, bayason mutane, amman Bappa na da wani abu a tattare da shi da yaja shi hira haka har maganar ta tsawaita

"Ba kamar kai ba, ni ina son kowa"

Yayi maganar cikin sigar wasa, sosai Rayyan yayi dariya

"Karka manta karantar mutane ne fanni na"

Murmushi Rayyan yayi yana fadin

"Bana son mutane, ko kadan"

Kusan zaice ranar ne ya san menene aboki, menene magana da wani da bai hada jini da shi ba. Duk da cikin satin farko na zama da Bappa ya saka shi jin kamar zai dinga tsigar gashin kan shi saboda yanda Bappa yake tura shi bango, kuma dariya yakan yi

"Bafa zan zauna bana magana bakina yayi tsami ba"

Tunda sassafe zai fara bashi labari, wani lokaci saiya nemi wani abu ya jefa mishi, saboda sai da safen yake samu yadan runtsa bayan ya gama shiryawa, wajen karfe tara suke fita, amman surutun Bappa ba zai barshi ba

"Bacci kakeyi?"

Zai tambaya, ko yayi shiru ya kyale shi zai fara mishi surutu yana bashi labarai

"Wai akan me zaka dinga bani labarin da ban tambayeka bane ba Bappa?"

Ya tambaye shi wani lokaci, sai yaci gaba da kurbar shayin shi yana bashi labarin kamar ma baiyi magana ba, juyawa Rayyan yayi yana daukar dayan Pillow din ya rufo daga kunnen shi zuwa fuskar shi, kafin yayi amfani da shi yana jifan Bappa daya addabe shi, ko Layla bata takura mishi yanda Bappa yakeyi a yan kwanakin daya san shi. Sosai yake shigar mishi hanci, musamman ma akan magungunan da baisan me yasa yake sha a gaban shi ba, tunda ko Bilal baisan yana shan su ba.

Ranar da ya saka shi a gaba yana fada mishi illar kwayoyin da bukatar sake ganin likita tunda ba damar ya ga kan shi yana abusing magunguna haka kamar bai sani ba ya tura Rayyan din bango, sosai yake jin ya gaji da yanke mishi hukunci da Bappa yake dan yana shan kalar magungunan da yake sha, duk da ba kullum ba, kuma guda daya yakan sha.

"Me yasa kake tunanin ka sanni ne Bappa? Dan kana shan Anti-depressant baya nufin ka fahimci matsalata"

Cikin ido Bappa yake kallon shi

"Ka fahimtar da ni"

Numfashi Rayyan ya sauke, watakila idan ya fito da abin a fili yayi mishi saukin dauka, watakila idan ya fadama Bappa ya daina damun shi, ba zaice ga dalili daya da ya saka shi bude bakin shi da yake rufe da matsalolin shi duk shekarun nan ba, dan ko likitocin da ya dinga gani bai fada musu ba, har wanda sukayi tunanin bayan depression yana tare da post traumatic disorder wato PTSD, da sauran tarkacen ciwuka da suka shafi mental health.

"Bana son ganin Babana, ko kadan bana son ganin shi, bana son magana da shi, bana son duk wani abu da shi yake so. Koma menene idan ya nuna yana so zuciyata kamar wani na turata ta nisanta da abin... Idan ya matso kusa dani kamar zan mutu nake ji. Bappa babana fa, Abbu, bana son komai yana hadamu kamar ba daga jikin shi na fito ba..."

Rayyan ya karasa yana numfasawa da nauyin da abin yake mishi a zuciya

"Kowa na dariya da shi, suna magana, suna hira. Kowa nayi da baban shi, ni ban samu wannan ba. Ban kuma san dalilin da yasa na kasa samu ba, karka tambayeni. Ina tuna lokuttan da nake zama tare da shi, amman lokuttane masu nisa, bansan me ya faru ba lokaci daya..."

Ganin Bappa yayi shiru yana sauraren shi da dukkan hankalin shi yasa Rayyan cigaba da magana, a wannan bigiren baima jin zai iya yin shiru ko da yaso, duk da abu da yawa da yake damun shi din baisan yanda zai misalta ba. Kirjin shi ya dafa

"Kaman akwai duhu a zuciyata da kaina haka nake ji, duniyar duka bata mun dadin zama, ko karatun Qur'ani da nake samun sauki bana iyayi wata rana, jikina namun nauyi in tashi, ban san ya zan fada ka gane ba, amman bana jin dadi, na zabi Psychology dan in fahimci matsalata, amman babu abinda nagane, nawa ba depression bane ba, ya wuce haka"

Ya karasa da wata irin karamar murya, kafin shiru ya ziyarci dakin, siririn numfashi Rayyan ya sauke, akwai tarin maganganu da yake sonyi amman ya gaji, ba da surutun ba, da yanda zai hada abinda yake cikin kan shi ya zama kalamai. Gyara zama yayi da nufin ya koma ya kwanta, muryar Bappa ta daki kunnuwan shi

"Mu biyar mukai accident, Mamana, Yayyena guda biyu sai Kanwata, ni ka dai na fita..."

Kallon shi Rayyan yayi

"Ban san me yake damun ka ba, ba kuma ina kokarin nuna maka matsalata tafi taka bane ba, ina so ka fahimci komai zaiyi dai-dai, kowacce matsala tana da lokaci... Bana jin taka na da alaka da asibiti. Baba zai zo Kaduna nan da kwana biyu, sai muje mu fada mishi, kila zai iya taimaka maka"

Kai Rayyan yake girgiza mishi tunda ya fara maganar, shima baisan ya akayi ya fada mishi ba, bayajin bakin shi zai sake budewa a karo na biyu ya fadama Baba kamar yanda Bappa ya kira shi. Kallon Bappa din yake da wani yanayi na daban

"Allah ya jikan su"

Ya furta a hankali, kan da Bappa ya jinjina yana amsawa da

"Amin Ya Rabbi"

Shi yasa Rayyan sanin yaji me yace, saboda a hankali yaji muryar shi ta fito. Hidimar su sukaci gaba dayi bayan nan kamar kowa baisan ciwon kowa ba. Har kwanaki biyu suka cika, Bappa baice mishi komai ba, bai sake daga mishi maganar zuwa ganin Baba ba, duk da yaji sunyi waya sun gaisa. Jikin shi na mishi wani iri, musamman da ranar tazo asabar, su kadaine a gidan, sauran yaran da suke nan sai da ya gansu duk basu shige sa'annin Layla ba. Gashi suna da hankali, basa wani hayaniya suna damun su, ko falo suka zauna suna kallo da wahala kaji hayaniyar su, kuma zasuyi kasa da maganar tv din.

Har yamma suna gida a zaune, Bappa ya dafa musu taliya, kamar Haris, ya iya dafa abubuwa da yawa. Kuma mai dadi yakeyi musu ba irin girkin Bilal ba. Dan haka babu inda suka fita, yanzun ma yana zaune yana kallon wani film a laptop din Bappa, Chinese ne ma, amman yana mishi dadi, yaga Bappa ya mike, gyara zama yayi yana cigaba da kallon shi, har saida ya dawo yana fadin

"Ka fito ga Baba nan"

Bai bashi damar amsawa ba ya sake ficewa, wani irin bugawa Rayyan yaji zuciyar shi nayi, tabbas zai saukema Bappa, saboda ba suyi haka da shi ba, sai ya tsinci kan shi da jin wani irin nauyi, saboda idan har Bappa na mishi kwarjini haka, baisan yanda baban shi zai kasance ba. Tunda yake bai taba sake kayan da suke jikin shi bai kara wanka ba, amman yau manyan kaya ya dauka ya saka, yana nemar hula ya dora a kan shi sannan ya fita. Aikam baiyi mamakin ganin kwarjinin da yake tattare da Sheikh Abdullah ba. A mutunce suka gaisa, Baba na dorawa da

"Bappa yamun bayanin komai, In shaa Allah babu abinda yafi karfin addu'a. Anjima da daddare sai kuzo ku karbi sako, akwai addu'o'in da zan baka kuma, saika daure ka dingayi kullum da safe muga abinda Allah zaiyi nan da kwana bakwai"

Kai Rayyan ya jinjina, sai da Baba yayi musu addu'a sannan ya mike, har bakin kofa suka raka shi, Rayyan ya dawo ya jira Bappa anan falon harya raka Baba waje ya dawo

"Baka da hankali ashe? Me yasa zaka saka Baba yazo?"

Murmushi Bappa yayi

"Ba zan iya daukarka ba, balle in sakaka a mota in kaika, shisa. Kuma karka damu Baba bashi da wata matsala bai dauki hakan komai ba"

Numfashi Rayyan ya sauke, shi ya dauki hakan wani abu, saboda Baba mutum ne Babba, ko bai girmi Abbu ba zasu zo sa'anni. Haka yayita jin wani iri har sanda suka je gidan da Baba ya sauka. Ruwan zam zam ne ya basu roba biyu, daya yace Rayyan din ya samu waje mai tsaf sai ya shafe duka jikin shi, kullum da dare har kwana bakwai, dayan kuma ya dinga zubawa a cikin kofi, ya saka